What Your Major Says About Your Taste in Music: A Guide
Bucknell has a rich tradition of being an elite private liberal arts institution. In other words, for many students on this campus, you can party your ass off for two years without having any clue why you’re even here. After those two glorious years of who knows what (lets be honest, you probably don’t remember most of it), it’s finally time to buckle down and assign yourself a major. What you don’t realize is that this major is not just an indicator of the courses you are taking or the job you will probably get after school— it also defines the type of person you are and, as such, it will define the type of music you listen to on an every day basis. Let’s take a look at what music you will (or already do) listen to as you select your major or are studying for that big exam; hopefully I won’t discourage you. English Majors
You English majors like your structure, form and organization, and I don’t blame you. If you could have it your way, the music you listen to would have subject-verb agreement (whatever that actually means). You are content knowing that your music is elite and only understood and appreciated by your fellow English majors, even if its old and dead by now. This music also comforts you in times where you are strapped for cash (which, for English majors, is all the time). Here’s an example of something you are probably listening to as you read this article.
Mendelsohn Violin Concerto in E Minor- 3rd Movement/Finale- Played by Shlomo Mintz
What is the meaning of life? Does life even have meaning? Do we even have meaning? What is music? Why do we like music? Does music permeate thought? What does that question even mean? Do Philosophy majors ever answer all the questions that they are constantly asking? This joke has been dragged on long enough; you know the deal, philosophy majors need music that complements the madness going on in their heads. They need music that screams, “I ask questions that seem to really go nowhere.” With that being said here’s something for you crazy philosophers out there.
Selected Ambient Works 85-92 - Aphex Twin (Full Album)
Before I begin talking about the music Engineering majors are listening to, I need to ask the question that is on everybody’s minds: where are you guys? I know there’s not enough room in the depths of Dana and Breakiron for all of you. Kidding aside, Engineers need music with structure and form like an English major, but they think, because of their secure jobs and flashy salaries, that they are infinitely cooler than the English majors. In some ways, Engineers, you are right. But at the end of the day, the fact remains: you all still try way harder than the rest of us. Here’s some music that Engineers are using to see the light in the windowless corridors of Dana’s basement.
Kanye West - Touch The Sky
Management majors right now are on their high horse. The school just got accredited and is considered in many circles to be in the top 10 undergraduate Management programs in the country. And guess what Engineers (I hope this doesn’t come off as a surprise): they’re doing significantly less work than you are! It seems as though Management majors right now have the downtime to relax and wait for opportunity to knock on their door. I guess this explains why they make up the majority of the students who end up paying a little visit to the municipal court (low blow? Cmon guys, this is a satire). Management majors, just try to stay out of trouble and you’ll be alright. Here’s what management majors are chillin’ out to while you’re taking Physics.
Popcaan - Everything Nice
Women’s Studies Majors
You like Beyoncé.
Flawless-Beyonce ft. Nicki Minaj
As you can see, Bucknell’s majors make for a pretty eclectic mix of musical taste on campus. Hopefully this guide was helpful to those who are currently in a major but are musically confused or to the many undecided who are trying to figure out where their tastes align. And remember, Bucknellians: Management majors always win.
This article is a satire and is not representative of any opinions of Campus Vinyl. Its jokes are associated with stereotypes and are not meant to accurately depict students on Bucknell’s campus.
Image source: Wikipedia