"We Can't Stop" Talking About It

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            Whether you love Miley Cyrus or are lying to yourself, you’ve probably talked about her latest single (and subsequently its bizarre music video) at least once in the past couple of weeks.  It’s safe to say that Miley has put the final nail into Hannah Montana’s proverbial coffin with this salute to her loss of innocence.  I can only imagine how achy-breaky her father’s heart is right now (I had to, sorry).  If your computer is broken, your phone died, you’re in a country without wifi, have absolutely no access to social media or a television, and have still managed to not see this video or hear this song, don’t worry—I’ve got you covered.

Miley Cyrus - "We Can't Stop"

(If you do have access, however, you can check out the video for yourself, here^)

            Alright so the video begins with Miley slicing through her house arrest bracelet with an oversized pair of scissors as a burly-sounding man alerts listeners to the fact that, “It’s my party; we can do what we want.”  As the former Disney star pops in her solid gold grills, you realize that only ten seconds have elapsed and you’re in for a real treat.  Everyone I’ve talked to here at Campus Vinyl BucknellU (I interviewed myself before sitting down to write this) agrees that Miley’s new look is incredible and this video is no exception.  The grill is questionable.

Now by this point, Lady Cyrus has begun her ooh’stumblr_mp3663tEOF1ry07l8o1_500 and ah’s and I’ll be the first (and maybe the only) to say her voice sounds good.  Her guests have begun emerging from the shrubbery, so clearly she has a lot to sing about.  I was taken aback by the pierced man taking a bite out of a stack of crisp hundred dollar bills, but I was appalled by the blatant product placement by Eos and their oddly-shaped chapsticks (chap-spheres?).  I can never shake the feeling that I’m watching a commercial rather than a music video.

If I picked every strange detail out of this music video, the length of this article would rival that of the Iliad, but I can’t neglect the excessive amount of twerking in this visual cacophony.  “Twerking” refers to the spastic shaking of one’s booty, and boy does Miley put the emphasis on spastic.  She (I) can do better.

For those of you that visited this online music publication and expected me to talk about music, I shall attempt to console you.  This song is definitely a departure from Miley’s previous attempts at a career beyond the days of hangin’ out with Lily and Oliver.  “The Climb” was catchy, but this is infectious.  “We Can’t Stop” oozes teenage rebellion, and I definitely don’t hate it.  Miley, according to your lyrics, “only God can judge ya,” but I’ll leave that to the readers to decide.

BONUS:

I just have to vouch for my girl, because I do think, somewhere deep down inside, she has talent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOwblaKmyVw